


Something like Belonging

by DarkCaustic



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha!Bucky, Alpha!Steve, Alpha/Alpha, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, BDSM, Blindfolds, Bondage, Bottom Alpha, Bottom Steve Rogers, Dom Bucky Barnes, Gags, Kink Negotiation, Knotting, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Praise Kink, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sub Steve Rogers, Top Bucky Barnes, War Veteran Bucky Barnes, a little bit of internalized homophobia, modern!Bucky, no in scene noncon, top alpha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:26:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22453375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkCaustic/pseuds/DarkCaustic
Summary: Before Steve presented, he’d always assumed he would present as an omega. Since his first puberty, it had been a shameful, secret fantasy of his – to be held down and knotted hard by an alpha. And then when he did present (much to his mortification) as an alpha, the fantasy didn’t go away – instead it got more pronounced and intense. He always assumed he was broken, somehow, but the serum didn’t fix it—so it must not need to be fixed.In the future, same-presentation pairings are more accepted, and he decides to explore his desires with a professional alpha dom, the Winter Soldier.But they both struggle to keep their feelings to the playroom.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 22
Kudos: 533





	Something like Belonging

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to [Sparkly_butthole](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkly_butthole) for the beta and the cheerleading. Telling me to write every day is, apparently, super effective.

Steve’s mouth is completely dry, a total juxtaposition to the sweat gathering in the creases of his hands. He’s too full of nervous energy to take a seat in the chair beside the desk; instead, he stands in the office and looks at the art on the wall – several abstract paintings of matte and shiny blacks with different base colors, appearing flat black at first glance, though closer observation reveals the true complexity of the pieces. They fit in with the rest of the gothic décor – the black satin chair behind the mahogany desk looks damn near regal with its high back. The bookshelf on the one wall is painted the same shade of black and on it are a few nondescript tomes that seem to have no titles. There are also several displayed leather pieces – cuffs, collars, and others that Steve can’t identify. The room is somehow both comforting and unnerving at the same time. It’s been carefully crafted with expertise but there’s an underlying promise of wanted violence. And that is why Steve is here.

He’s only alone in the room a few moments before the door opens and in steps the man himself – the Winter Soldier – one of the club’s most infamous and expensive doms. He’s well dressed in black on black, like his office – skinny black pants, black boots, black shirt, black blazer. His long hair is loose around his shoulders and he has a dusting of stubble across his chin and cheeks that Steve wants to rub his smooth-shaved face against.

The dom smiles. “Sorry I’m late,” he says. 

“Not a problem,” Steve replies, stomach still twisting with nerves as the Winter Soldier looks him up and down in one, long appraising look.

“I won’t make a habit of it. I respect your time, I was just wrapping up with a client and went a little long.”

“No, really, it’s fine,” Steve says.

The Winter Soldier smiles then and asks, “Did Wanda have you sign the non-disclosure?”

Wanda is the club’s receptionist, secretary, hostess and everything else, from what Steve can gather. She’d been the one to field his call when he’d finally gathered the courage to contact them and ask about a session with the Winter Soldier. She’d put his worries at ease and promised him discretion and ensured him that the club took Safe, Sane and Consensual very seriously. She’d greeted him today, made him sign several forms that he’d hurriedly read, and then led him back to wait in the Winter Soldier’s private office.

The future would always be surreal to him.

“Yes, yes she did.”

“Good,” The Winter Soldier says. “And that’s a mutual agreement – you don’t talk about anyone you see in this club, no one talks about seeing you here, and we don’t give up client lists to anyone.”

“That’s—that’s good.”

“That being said,” The Winter Soldier continues, “That includes me. To protect my own privacy, I use my stage name in most settings. However, if you want to be my client, it’s only fair that you should know my real name is Bucky Barnes, but I keep my work info off social media so I don’t scandalize my mother. Do you understand?” He says this last sentence with an underlying feeling of Command to it. Steve isn’t sure if it’s intentional or not, but it makes him a little bit weak in the knees and he swallows thickly before agreeing.

“Good,” Bucky says before flashing him a bright smile and putting out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Rogers.”

Steve shakes his hand. “Steve, please,” he says.

“Alright, Steve, have a seat.” Bucky gestures to the chair before the desk as he slides around and settles in the high backed chair, looking like a prince about to assume his duties.“What can I do for you?” Bucky asks as soon as Steve is settled.

Steve clears his throat and feels the back of his ears get hot. “Well, you see. I am—I’m…,” It’s hard to get out, sometimes, telling people _I’m Captain America._ Those words feel _ridiculous_ to say out loud and yet this has been Steve’s life for, well, a long time. Longer than he’s been _alive._

He tries again. “You may know me.”

“Yes,” Bucky agrees. “I recognize Captain America, brought back to life to fight for truth and justice. Like I said, nondisclosure agreement. You’re not Captain America here, you’re Steve Rogers, and as soon as I leave the club, I have never met Steve Rogers or Captain America in my life.”

“Right,” Steve replies, feeling slightly sheepish and still struggling to get the words out.

“I’m a professional Dom,” Bucky says, trying to put Steve at ease. “I fulfill fantasies. I can promise you that you’re not going to tell me something I haven’t heard before. So please, don’t be shy.”

Steve’s face only gets hotter but he nods and manages to collect himself. “Tony Stark brought me here a few weeks ago. I think he’s—frequented the club before.”

Bucky shrugs. “I can neither confirm nor deny.”

“Of course,” Steve presses on. “The club was having like a, a showcase? I don’t know what it’s called. An open house? And I think Tony just wanted to scandalize me – he still thinks I’m a virgin. That’s not the point,” Steve’s words are coming out jumbled. He takes a breath. “I saw you, uh, performing. With—with another alpha.”

Bucky nods. He doesn’t look surprised or ashamed at all.

Steve doesn’t know why he expected Bucky to—Bucky ties people up _for a living._ He has sex in front of people _for a living._ Of course Steve isn’t going to scandalize him.

“It was—I mean. When I was younger, alphas could never act that way together. But I always wanted. That.”

Bucky is silent for a second and Steve can’t meet his eye. He’s never—he’s never _told_ anyone that. Before he presented, he’d always assumed he would present as an omega. Since his first puberty, it had been a shameful, secret fantasy of his – to be held down and _knotted_ hard by an alpha. And then when he did present (much to his mortification) as an alpha, the fantasy didn’t go away – instead it got more pronounced and intense. He always assumed he was broken, somehow, but the serum didn’t fix it—so it must not need to be fixed.

“It must be difficult, adjusting to everything being so new,” Bucky says with incredible compassion. “I have no idea what it must’ve been like, being an alpha attracted to alphas back then. People are still,” Bucky shrugs a little, “less than thrilled about alpha-alpha pairings but it’s not illegal anymore. Everyone’s free to marry whomever they want now. You certainly have nothing to be ashamed of for wanting the company of another alpha.

“However,” Bucky continues. “My job, this club, it’s for a specific purpose. If you are just looking for sex or a romantic relationship, I’d be happy to explain Grindr and other options to you.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, I know that I want—what I saw.”

Bucky smiles. “What did you see?”

Steve flusters a little. Blood runs south and his cock perks up just thinking about it. “I saw you tie up an alpha that was bigger than you. And you—you spanked him and then knotted him and he was helpless to it. You dominated him.”

Bucky’s pupils are dilated but he’s otherwise still composed. “Is that what you want, Steve? To be dominated?”

Steve nods. “In the field, I’m in charge. Everyone looks up to me, looks to me to give orders, to make the right choices. And I can do that, I’m good at that. But I don’t want to be that person all the time. I want to let go. I want someone else to be in control, to make me take it, to help me get out of my head.”

“That, I think I can do,” Bucky says. “I’m going to give you a questionnaire, fill it out, we can see where our kinks are compatible and where we can negotiate. But first, have you ever been with an alpha before?”

“Yes, during—during the war. Just, casually.”

“You’ve been knotted?” Bucky asks.

Steve shakes his head. “There was never time. We couldn’t get caught like that.”

“Understandable,” Bucky says. “But that’s a thing that you want? An alpha to make you take his knot?”

Steve blushes all the way up the back of his neck and swallows hard. “Yes,” he says.

XxX

The questionnaire asks him about things he’s never even thought of. Piss. Needles. Mummification. Electricity. Tony taught him, _your kink is not my kink_ and _don’t kink shame._ Which, holy shit, he doesn’t want to kink shame anyone, but he is also a hard no on some of those.

But others. Well.

He masturbates furiously to some of the new fodder he has. Thinking about spreader bars and spidergags and blindfolds and padded cuffs and leather paddles with metal studs in them.

He has to take a cold shower and change his sheets before he can sleep.

He drops the filled out questionnaire in a sealed envelope at the front desk of the club the next day and then he waits.

XxX

Wanda leads him back to Bucky’s office and leaves him. He’s only there a minute before the door opens again and in comes Bucky. He’s dressed in jeans, combat boots and a soft, dark blue sweater. His hair is tied back neatly but it looks so soft and inviting – Steve wants to run his hands through it.

“Good to see you, Steve. Thanks for filling out that questionnaire and getting it back so quickly. We need to set up some guidelines, expectations, safe words, and talk about aftercare before we can have a scene.”

Steve nods enthusiastically and barely manages not to squirm in his seat when they talk about the expectations for a scene.

XxX

Steve is on his knees in the Winter Soldier’s playroom. The club, apparently, has a number of them. Steve saw a few the night he came with Tony to the exhibition but they didn’t see this room. It’s apparently maintained and used solely by the Soldier. Steve expected it to be different – more wooden torture structures, dark and damp. But, no, it’s more inviting than that. It’s large and windowless, painted a dark, comforting brown. It has several identical wardrobes along the walls. Pushed to the middle of the far wall is a huge bed. Steve can tell the frame is steel and very strong, with unobtrusive links to hook in chains. Otherwise the bed is very ordinary. It has a fluffy duvet and several pillows, similar to the one in his own bedroom. In another corner sits an armchair and a footrest on a tasteful area rug. Those are the only items in the room.

Bucky had showed him in, but the moment Bucky stepped across the threshold, Steve could see his body language change slightly. He was no longer _Bucky_ ; he was the Winter Soldier. Steve’s Dom.

He firmly but gently orders Steve to his knees facing the bed and then sits on the end of the bed and looks at the other alpha.

Steve struggles not to squirm. Just that slight play of power is already getting him hot under the collar, and he’s still a little unsure of what to expect.

“Knotting an alpha can be dangerous for both alphas. The alpha body isn’t designed for it the way an omega’s body is. The alpha needs to be properly prepared for it – stretched patiently and comfortable enough to stay on the knot without pulling away and hurting the other alpha.”

As he says this, he curls his metal hand gently around Steve’s cheek. His flesh hand goes between his legs and he starts to fondle himself over his pants.

“The other important consideration is pheromone compatibility. Alphas are highly sensitive to scent. It’s how they choose the most compatible omegas. But even when alphas are attracted to other alphas, they can have difficulty with pheromone compatibility and still find the smell of other alphas off-putting.

“So we are going to ease into this to make sure you really want to be knotted by me,” Bucky says, rubbing more firmly at himself. “Put your hands behind your back and keep them there.”

Steve obeys immediately, holding each wrist in the opposite hand behind his back.

“Good boy,” Bucky says. “I’m going to jerk off on you. You’ll see if the smell bothers you. If it does, I’ll help you find a different dom. If it doesn’t, we can continue. Alright?”

“Yes, sir,” Steve says.

“Good,” Bucky replies. Then he leans back so he can unbutton his pants.

Steve’s heart pounds harder as he watches, transfixed, as Bucky pulls his cock out. Of course, Steve had seen it before; when Bucky was fucking that other alpha at the club’s open house. But it’s completely different being so close to it. Having Bucky’s attention on him as Bucky begins to stroke himself. His cock is long and thick, possibly even bigger than Steve’s (and the serum really did have a whole body effect). He’s shaved, cut and clean, wet at the tip and there is already a little thickening around the base where his knot will form.

Bucky scoots forward on the bed so his knees bracket Steve’s shoulders. Steve shivers at the contact but keeps his hands where they are. Bucky’s cock is so close to his face now – he would barely have to lean forward to lick it. The head is purple, getting wetter as Bucky runs his thumb over it.

He uses his metal hand to curl around the base of his cock, pressing down where the knot wants to form. He speeds up his hand, the slick sound is the only noise in the room. Bucky is staring at Steve’s face, intense but welcome.

Steve can smell Bucky’s orgasm the moment before it hits. The air goes thick with a salty, almost woodsy smell. Then Bucky’s metal hand flies out faster than Steve can think and grabs Steve by the back of his head, fingers threading into his hair and holding him _tight tight._ Surprisingly strong. He tips Steve’s head back and shoots come clear across Steve’s face, down his cheekbones, across his chin.

Steve’s own cock strains in his pants, pushing against the zipper.

“Fuck,” Bucky gasps, shuddering through the last little bits of pleasure before letting go of his cock. It stays hard between his legs, the knot inflated, darker than the rest of his skin, already starting to deflate since it has no stimulation. Bucky doesn’t let him go, though, instead uses his flesh hand to rub his come into Steve’s skin, before gathering up a drop of it and forcing it into Steve’s mouth.

The taste is sharp, thick and salty. Not exactly unpleasant but not necessarily a flavor he would seek out.

“Compatible?” Bucky asks, almost with a laugh when they both realize that Steve is trying to suck on his fingers.

Steve blushes. “Yeah,” he replies. His voice sounds fucked out – like he’d been sucking Bucky’s cock instead of just staring at it. “Yes, sir,” he corrects, clearing his throat.

“Good, good. Now, your turn.”

Steve feels his ears go bright pink as he stares up at Bucky glassy-eyed. “My turn, sir?”

Bucky lets him go and stands up. “On the bed,” he orders.

Steve almost falls over himself climbing up on the bed – it’s soft and the duvet is so fluffy it tries to swallow him.

“On your knees, again. Put your hands on the headboard and face forward.”

Steve does as he’s told. His spine tingles as he listens to Bucky opening one of the wardrobes, something jingles and then the wardrobe closes again. There are a few more rustling sounds and then he feels the bed dip when Bucky climbs on it.

Bucky hums lowly to himself and then says, “Take your shirt off and unbutton your pants.”

Steve keeps his eyes forward as he pulls his shirt over his head and whips it off the bed. He unbuttons his jeans and returns his hands to the headboard.

“Good. Good boy,” Bucky practically purrs as he moves up behind Steve. Bucky’s naked chest touches his back as Bucky reaches over to take Steve’s hands. The sensation is so sudden and overwhelming that Steve jerks like a livewire and Bucky hushes him. Steve can barely focus on anything but the touch of their skin together, the intimacy of it like being drunk. He hasn’t been this close to someone since before he put the Valkyrie in the water. It’s like warming cold flesh suddenly, pleasant but almost too much. His nerves go haywire and he barely registers Bucky locking his hands into padded cuffs with the chain running through the headboard. Steve just moans and arches his back to get as much contact with his dom as he can.

Bucky chuckles in his ear, damp and low. “You like that?”

“Yes, sir,” Steve breathes. His cock is so hard it hurts, but it also feels distant and removed – getting Bucky to touch him feels more important than getting his rocks off.

Bucky takes hold of his hips and pushes them down a little, forcing Steve to spread his legs wider, and then Bucky is tucking his whole body around Steve. Enveloping him, making Steve feel small and sheltered against the other alpha. Bucky tucks his chin over Steve’s shoulder, touching cheek-to-cheek and looking down Steve’s body.

“You are gorgeous,” he says, and then his hands are on Steve’s chest, the right one cupping Steve’s pec while the cold, left one tugs at the opposite nipple. Steve moans loudly and jerks so his ass rubs against Bucky’s crotch.

“I got you,” Bucky says, now stroking both hands down Steve’s chest, over his stomach and right into his underwear. A metal fingertip traces Steve’s cockhead, slicking the precome around.

He’s incredibly gentle as he pushes Steve’s pants and underwear down so they hang barely on the curve of his ass in the back and below his balls in the front. He’s completely at Bucky’s mercy, only able to bite his lip and look down as Bucky’s flesh hand starts working his length slowly, up and down. The metal hand holds fast to his hip, keeping him planted firmly to Bucky’s body.

He grunts, wanting to roll his hips with Bucky’s motions but unable to do so. He’s never felt like this – unable to control his own pleasure but heightened because of it.

“That’s it,” Bucky whispers in his ear. “You’re doing beautifully. Just let yourself feel it.”

Steve whimpers as Bucky picks up the pace. It’s harder now to keep his hips still and he trembles. Bucky takes his left hand off Steve’s hip and uses it to push Steve’s head forward so he’s braced against the wall as he jacks Steve hard and fast. When his metal hand cups Steve’s balls, Steve cries out, startled, but bites his lip and leans harder into the wall. Bucky’s metal hand then circles Steve’s knot, milking it, coaxing it along, giving it the pressure he so desires as he comes with a groan, leaning heavily on the wall.

Bucky keeps his metal hand there, holding Steve in the blissful state of having knotted something, his cock staying hard and dripping, sensitive but a low thrum of orgasm humming through his body. He watches through lidded eyes as Bucky runs a flesh finger through Steve’s come splatter on the wall and then brings it to his lips. He sucks his fingertip and makes an appreciative sound before kissing Steve’s neck, licking the scent gland there and giving Steve’s knot a final squeeze before letting him go.

He unlocks Steve and helps him lie down on the bed. Steve’s chest is still heaving as he stares at the overhead light, his pants still pulled down and softening cock lying out in the air. His hair flops into his eyes and his tongue feels heavy and unmovable.

Bucky gets a cloth from somewhere and sets about cleaning Steve up while he struggles to come back to his senses. He wipes down Steve’s cock, tucking it back into his underwear and tugging Steve’s pants back up. He cleans come off Steve’s chest and face and then lies down beside him and pulls Steve into his arms. Steve curls in and, instinctively, pushes his nose against Bucky’s scent gland at the base of his neck. It smells sweet and safe there, the rest of the world muffled and far away.

Bucky strokes his back and holds him until he feels Steve go completely boneless.

“Seems we are pretty compatible,” Bucky finally says.

“I agree, sir.”

XxX

Bucky has other clients, other commitments, and Steve also has all the responsibility of being Captain America, so it’s nearly two weeks before he’s on his knees in the Winter Soldier’s playroom again. Wanda escorted him back, telling him that the Soldier wants him to take his shirt off and kneel in front of the bed.

Steve blushes hard at Bucky’s orders coming through Wanda but nods and does as he’s told as soon as Wanda leaves the room.

The room isn’t cold but has a slight chill to it that almost instantly pebbles Steve’s nipples, and his cock is already thickening with anticipation.

The Soldier doesn’t make him wait long – he hears the door open and then Bucky is in front of him, curling his hand around Steve’s chin to tip his face up and smiling at him.

“Hello darling,” Bucky says.

“Sir,” Steve replies and swallows thickly.

Bucky’s eyebrows furrow a little. “Is everything all right?”

“Yes, well… Yes,” Steve says, but there is a hesitance to it.

Bucky sits on the bed and takes Steve’s face in both hands. “Steve, I’m your dom. It’s my responsibility to see to your pleasure and comfort in a scene. If something is wrong, please tell me so I can fix it.”

“It’s just—it’s not a big deal.”

“Steve,” Bucky says sternly and oh, that Alpha voice _does_ things to Steve. Makes him want to spread his legs and present like an omega.

“I don’t want anyone but you giving me orders,” Steve finally manages to get out. “I know it was your order but it came through Wanda and I… I just don’t like it.”

“Of course, Steve. I understand. It won’t happen again. Thank you for telling me. You’re so good for me.”

Steve melts a little, nuzzles his face into Bucky’s flesh hand, lets the metal one curl around the back of his head.

“Is everything else all right?” Bucky asks.

“Yes, sir,” Steve replies.

“Good,” Bucky replies. “Good. Stay here,” he orders. “Eyes forward.”

Steve does as he’s told. He hears Bucky move around the room, opening cabinets, clinking around. He startles slightly when Bucky comes up behind him and wraps a blindfold over his eyes, catching him in black satin. It’s soft against his skin but gives up nothing.

“Alright?” Bucky asks, his thumb stroking the scent gland on Steve’s neck and making him feel a little bit tingly and hazy.

“Yes, sir,” Steve says.

Bucky gives an appreciative hum in the back of his throat and then the shackles are going around Steve’s wrists again. They’re pretty heavy duty, all things considered. He could break out of them but it might take him a second and he likes that.

“How’s your gag reflex?” Bucky asks.

Steve didn’t know his skin could feel so hot and tight.

“I guess... normal?” Steve says, sheepishly. “Never had any reason to test it.”

“You up to testing it today?” Bucky asks.

“Yes, _sir,_ ” Steve replies, more emphatically than he meant.

Bucky chuckles. “Good enthusiasm.”

Bucky walks back around Steve and kneels behind him. He takes Steve’s hand and puts a small, round object in it.

“As you may have guessed, I’m going to give you a bit of a mouthful today,” he says and Steve can hear the smirk in his voice. “This,” he says, curling Steve’s fingers around the object. “It’s a cat toy, it has a bell in it. You may not be able to speak, so I want you to shake it if you need to stop. Understood?”

Steve holds the ball tightly. “Yes, sir.”

“Good, now, open your mouth,” he says.

Steve opens his mouth, feels Bucky reaching over him and inserting a gag. It’s a simple O-ring – keeps his mouth open for the taking. It’s a little hard to swallow and he feels so exposed, but in a good way. Bucky could put anything in his mouth and he wouldn’t be able to stop him.

Bucky shifts again behind him and then—then he’s putting his chest to Steve’s bare back and now he’s shirtless and there is so much glorious skin-to-skin contact, it makes Steve’s brain go quiet. Bucky rasps his stubble along the back of Steve’s neck. He runs his teeth over Steve’s scent glands. He brings his hands to Steve’s stomach, dipping his fingers in the waistband of Steve’s jeans and drags his hands up, stopping to cup Steve’s pecs and roll Steve’s nipples in his fingers.

Steve trembles, his cock so hard it hurts, his body a live wire. Bucky drags his hands back down Steve’s body, unzips his pants, and then reaches into Steve’s underwear. He curls his fingers around Steve’s cock and Steve whimpers in the back of his throat. Bucky thumbs the slit, slides down, squeezes his knot and then pulls his hand out of Steve’s pants.

Steve could cry, he’s so desperate and turned on.

“Shh,” Bucky hushes, getting to his feet but keeping one hand on Steve’s shoulder as he moves back to sitting on the bed. “You’re doing a real good job.”

Steve hears a zipper go down and he tenses in anticipation as Bucky tugs him forward, into the V of Bucky’s legs where he already wishes he could stay forever. Bucky is still for a moment, staring at Steve, taking in his flushed skin and lips stretched around the gag. He runs a thumb along Steve’s plush lower lip and then curls his hand around the back of Steve’s head and scoots forward till he can push the wet tip of his cock to Steve’s lip.

Steve makes a shocked sound and goes tense.

“You okay?” Bucky asks, easing off.

Steve nods, quickly, intensely.

“Okay, okay,” Bucky says and rubs the back of Steve’s head with his thumb. “You ready?”

Steve nods again and then Bucky is sliding forward and slipping his cock into that warm, open mouth.

Steve isn’t entirely sure what to do, so he lets his tongue lave the underside of Bucky’s cock as Bucky slides in till he hits the back of Steve’s throat.

“Fuck,” Bucky says and he _sounds_ delirious with pleasure. Steve can’t believe he’s the one making Bucky feel that good. It heightens the experience for him.

Then Bucky is holding his head still with both hands and Steve feels himself giving up control, giving it all to Bucky as Bucky starts to rock his hips, dragging his cock back and forth over Steve’s tongue. The taste is salty and earthy and _alpha_ in a way that Steve finds himself loving. It’s certainly not a thing he would seek out for its own sake, but here, with Bucky _using_ him, making him feel small and _owned_ and controlled, Steve could get lost in it.

“Fuck, fuck,” Bucky gasps. “I can’t believe you’ve never done this before.” He pulls out and Steve almost falls forward trying to keep chasing his cock. “Shh,” Bucky hushes him, holding him still. He can hear how ragged Bucky’s breathing is. “I want to try something, are you down to try something?” Bucky asks.

Steve already knows he’d follow Bucky anywhere, so he nods.

“Okay, lets really test your gag reflex. Take a deep breath through your nose,” Bucky orders as he lines his cock back up. “And let it out,” and then Bucky slides forward, to the back of Steve’s throat. Then both of his hands go tight along the back of Steve’s head and he _keeps going_. Steve can feel Bucky’s knot struggle to get past the ring of the gag and then his nose is in the wiry patch of hair at the base of Bucky’s cock. Bucky holds him there for a moment, trembling, before letting him up. He doesn’t push that hard again, but he does let go, pumping his cock in and out of Steve’s mouth with abandon until he comes across Steve’s tongue.

He keeps a hand on Steve’s head, holding him there while his other hand works his cock and he comes and comes and _comes_. Steve struggles to swallow some of it, the rest dripping out the gag and onto his chest.

“You next,” Bucky says with a little hum. He unbuckles the gag before hauling Steve to his feet by the front of his jeans. Bucky wastes no time tugging pants and underwear off of Steve before literally shoving him to the bed, trapping Steve’s arms beneath him. 

Steve bounces and manages to sit up a little before Bucky sits on his thighs, plants his metal arm on Steve’s shoulder and shoves him flat. Steve squirms, his cock curving up toward his belly but Bucky just clamps his thighs around Steve’s thighs until Steve holds still.

Bucky sits on him for a moment, enjoying the view, before stroking his flesh hand through the mess of come on Steve’s chest and oh-so-slowly trailing fingertips down Steve’s torso and curling fingers lightly around the base of Steve’s cock.

“Please,” Steve gasps out. “Please, sir, please.”

Bucky hums again. “I think I like it when you beg,” he says and then starts to jack Steve fast and hard. Steve trembles in his binds, his whole body going taut with sexual frustration, everything intensified by his inability to see.

He comes hard, his back flying off the bed, curling in toward Bucky. Instead of forcing him back down, Bucky clamps his metal hand around Steve’s knot, giving it enough pressure to inflate and prolong the orgasm.

“Sir, sir, yes, please,” Steve mutters, biting his lip. His legs shake, his stomach flexes. Bucky runs his flesh fingertips over the head of Steve’s cock and he almost screams.

Bucky milks his knot for nearly ten minutes, squeezing it tighter every now and again, before letting him go when Steve starts to get over sensitive.

Steve lays lax on the bed, panting.

Bucky is so gentle when he lifts Steve’s head to untie the blindfold and toss it aside. Then he rolls Steve onto his side to unlock the cuffs.

“One moment,” he says and returns to the bed not a minute later with a damp cloth that he uses to wipe Steve down, then he makes Steve sit up for a few sips of water. Steve curls into Bucky, burying his face in Bucky’s side and throwing an arm around his hip. Bucky accepts the embrace and rubs Steve’s back with his metal palm.

“Good?”

Steve hums his agreement.

“You’re like a cat after you come.”

Steve jerks his head up and goes to pull away. “Sorry,” he starts but Bucky tugs him back and holds onto him more firmly.

“Wasn’t a complaint. Aftercare is important, Steve. You need to be a cat, be a cat.”

Steve almost falls asleep like that.

XxX

He finds it’s easier to carry the shield these days. Like something that had been spun too tight in his chest is starting to loosen. He wakes up in the morning and doesn’t immediately dread the day.

That isn’t to say there aren’t still bad days, of course there are. But he doesn’t automatically resent the world for continuing to exist and bringing him forward into a future he struggles to understand. He’s starting to remember what it feels like to appreciate the little things, to be thankful in a way he hadn’t realized he’d forgotten.

When he gets called out to a potential terrorist attack in Times Square, he can’t help but think about Bucky. He wonders, briefly, what Bucky is doing, where he is.

And when the mission is over, he goes home and stands in the bathroom and takes his time cleaning up the tiny cuts on his face and hands and wonders, not for the first time, what it would be like to come home to _someone_ and have someone who would take care of him.

But, for the first time, he imagines a specific someone and he has to grip the sink and a get a handle on himself.

“Keep it professional, Rogers,” he mutters to himself before crawling into bed.

It takes him ages to fall asleep.

XxX

Bucky, probably erring on the side of caution, has taken to having Steve wait in his office instead of the playroom.

This time, Bucky enters the room barefoot, in jeans and a soft-looking Henley. His long hair is damp around his shoulders, like he just got dressed after a shower. He looks relaxed, in a different way than he does when he’s domming Steve, more open, somehow. He smiles when he sees Steve. It’s the first time Steve really thinks about the fact that this is Bucky’s _job_. That he showered because he probably had a session with someone else – someone else that Bucky tied up and spanked and maybe—maybe fucked.

Steve’s stomach twists in anxiety for a moment. That sinking feeling of not having an alpha, not being a pair, and he has to stamp it down because he did know what he was getting into. Still, the urge to kiss Bucky hello is strong and he moves slightly away so he won’t give into the desire.

“Are you ready?” Bucky asks.

Steve nods, never sure what a session is going to include but eager regardless.

“Good, come on,” Bucky says.

It’s like the last sessions – as soon as they step into the playroom, Bucky becomes the Winter Soldier, all stern, serious muscle.

He orders Steve out of his clothes and today—today he sits Steve in the armchair. He ties Steve’s hands over his head, and then pulls his legs forward so he slouches in the chair.

“Hold that,” Bucky orders before going to a cabinet and coming back with a complicated looking set of straps. He runs a circle of leather right around each of Steve’s thighs and then forces Steve’s legs up, bending his knees toward his chest, exposing him. Then Bucky connects another strap to the ones on his thighs that he connects somewhere behind the chair, forcing Steve to hold the position, his ass tilted up, completely exposed.

Bucky stands back to admire his work, his eyes tracing slowly from Steve’s face, down his blushing chest toward his hole. Then he gets on his knees in front of Steve and places his hands on the tender insides of Steve’s thighs.

“You’ve never had anyone fuck you before?” Bucky asks, even though that was absolutely one of the questions on the questionnaire Bucky had him fill out weeks ago.

“Never,” Steve says. His cock is already hard, jutting up between his legs obscenely. He wants to touch it, but even more, he wants Bucky to touch his hole – put his fingers in it, maybe his tongue, definitely his cock.

Like reading his mind, one of Bucky’s hands traces down Steve’ leg, grabs his cock, trails down his cock and lands flat on his hole.

“Are you ready for some ass-play?” Bucky asks. He looks almost as wrecked as Steve feels, his pupils blown wide and a small blush on his cheekbones. It makes Steve that much more eager – Bucky is always so composed – but today, _today_ he seems like he can barely keep his hands off Steve.

“So ready, sir.”

Bucky smiles and then he stands up and Steve whimpers with the loss. Bucky swoops back in, pressing his face to Steve and letting Steve get a whiff of his scent gland. “Just one second, darling,” Bucky whispers. “Won’t even leave your sight.”

And he doesn’t, going over to the small table beside the bed to retrieve a bottle of lube. He takes his place kneeling in front of Steve again, already pouring lube on his flesh hand.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

Steve nods. “Yes, sir.” He’s so ready, he can feel his pulse in the rim of his hole, the anticipation thick and heady.

Bucky smirks and then sinks two fingers into his hole. Steve jerks in his bonds – but the leather is thick and they hold. His toes curl as he stares down at where Bucky is _inside him_. The Winter Soldier is fingering him – he’s never—no one has ever touched him like this before. He gasps with it, especially when Bucky curls his fingers and rubs hard till he finds Steve’s prostate and makes him shout with surprise at the intensity of the feeling.

“Good?” Bucky asks.

“Don’t stop.”

Bucky stills. Then slowly starts to pull his fingers out of Steve’s hole and Steve whines with the loss and then jumps when Bucky leans forward and _bites_ the delicate skin on the inside of Steve’s thigh.

“You lost your manners for a second there, Steve,” he says and smacks Steve once across his ass.

“Sorry, sir, sorry. Please, sir, please put your fingers back in me, it won’t happen again.”

Bucky holds his gaze with a stern look and says, “See that it doesn’t,” before shoving his fingers back in.

He is downright brutal this time – finger fucking Steve with unerring accuracy, stoking his prostate, stretching his rim, pushing deeper into him, punching little sounds out of Steve, who gasps and wriggles in the bonds, muttering, “Please, sir, please.”

Right when he can barely stand it, Bucky leans in, wraps his metal hand around the knot at the base of Steve’s cock and takes the tip into his mouth.

Steve’s entire body bows as he comes down Bucky’s throat, so many different points of pleasure overloading his system. His knot inflates faster than it ever has before and he shakes through a long, white-hot orgasm.

Bucky gentles him through it, keeping his knot stimulated even as he slips his fingers out of Steve’s ass and pulls his lips away from Steve’s cock. Steve continues to shake, his body still dripping come.

“Can you take more?” Bucky asks once he thinks Steve can hear him again. Steve is still a little glassy-eyed but he focuses on Bucky, swallowing thickly and nodding.

“I want to fuck you, but I’m not going to knot you today. It’ll be an experiment to see if you actually enjoy getting fucked or if it’s just a fantasy.”

“I don’t think it’s just a fantasy, sir,” Steve says.

“Only one real way to find out. Would you like that, Steve? For me to fuck you?”

Steve nods, biting his lip.

Bucky squeezes his knot a tiny bit, causing Steve to gasp and shy away from the touch as much as possible.

“Verbal consent, Steve. Remember, verbal consent.”

Steve gulps for air as Bucky releases him and his cock begins to go limp.

“Yes, sir,” he says. “Yes, I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me and come in my hole and hold me down and knot me. Please, sir, please.”

Bucky smirks at that, leans in and kisses Steve gently, pushing his tongue into Steve’s mouth. He pulls back after a moment and rubs his face along Steve’s – marking Steve with his scent and making Steve tremble. This is what he wanted – an alpha that wants to be _his alpha_ , scent him up so everyone will know he’s taken and no one else will want him.

“Good boy,” Bucky says. “I can do some of those things.” He leans back and starts to unzip his pants. “The rest, we can work up to.”

Steve is absolutely transfixed by watching Bucky slick up his cock. It’s exactly what he thinks an alpha cock should be – long, thick, darkening around the knot and purpling at the head. He finds himself scooting around a little to force his legs even wider, focusing attention at his hole, still slick with lube.

Bucky puts his hands on the back of Steve’s thighs, pushing his weight into them so they press into the soft back of the chair practically around Steve’s ears. He feels trapped, pinned, like an offering. Bucky smiles at him, leaning in to mouth at Steve’s scent gland while his cock slides along the crack of Steve’s ass till the head is poised at Steve’s hole.

“Please, sir, please,” Steve gasps and then Bucky is pushing his hips forward, so slowly. The head inches inside, but Steve is still rather tight and Bucky has to _press_ to get it in there, forcing his way into Steve’s body. He doesn’t stop, keeps slipping forward until his hips are snug against Steve’s ass and his whole cock is inside the other alpha.

The sensation is indescribable – exactly what Steve expected and not at all at the same time. He feels full, deliciously so, with an ache and a hurt around his rim but his prostate sparks with pleasure. He wants more of it, wants Bucky to _take_ and _take_ from him. Wants to be fucked until he cannot form a coherent thought.

Bucky nuzzles him, nose to nose. “Tell me how you are doing, darling. Is it too much?”

“No, sir, no,” Steve gasps. “I love it, keep going, please, sir.”

“As you wish,” Bucky says. And if being fingered by Bucky was mind blowing – being fucked by Bucky is earth shattering. His entire existence boils down to that hot place where they are connected. Bucky is slamming into him, not treating him at all like a fragile thing, completely unbridled in the way he fucks Steve. He drives deep and hard on every thrust, holding Steve’s legs open for him like he owns Steve, like Steve’s body was made for this express purpose of providing Bucky a warm place to put his cock. 

Steve curls his head in, pushing his face into Bucky’s scent gland and keeping it there. His toes curl and his hands flex. He loves feeling open and exposed and _used_. He’s surprised with how quickly Bucky’s knot begins to form; he can feel it thickening, Bucky having to shove harder to push it past Steve’s rim and pull it back out again. Then Bucky is gasping, “I’m coming.”

He lets go of one of Steve’s legs to grab his own cock, squeezing his knot on the outside of Steve’s body, but keeping his cockhead inside, emptying himself into Steve. He shakes and his smell goes thick and musty in the room and Steve—Steve thinks he could do this forever. Stay tied to this chair, open and exposed, ready for whenever Bucky wants to fuck him, use him hard and keep him there, slick and prepared for Bucky’s cock and Bucky’s knot.

“Shit,” Bucky gasps, and then he stumbles back and gracelessly falls on his ass. Bucky lets go of his knot and takes a deep, heaving breath. “Fuck,” he says and then he’s scrambling back to his feet and unbuckling Steve. He is careful to bring Steve’s legs down, rubbing muscles that had been strained from holding position for so long. It would probably be more uncomfortable on an ordinary person, but Steve wants to tell Bucky it’s okay – he liked the position and it would be hours before his legs would cramp.

Bucky seems to be deliberately not looking him in the eye as he unbuckles Steve’s hands and carefully rubs his wrists – stimulating circulation and checking for any chaffing or bruising.

“Sir?” Steve asks, sensing that Bucky is lost somewhere in his head. “Are you okay?”

Bucky blinks and then he’s present again, smiling at Steve. “Sorry, that went a little differently than I was expecting.”

“How so?” Steve asks, placing his hand on the gland at the base of Bucky’s neck.

“I don’t normally fall on my ass,” Bucky says, but Steve can sense something unsaid. Before he can press, though, Bucky asks, “How did you like it?”

Steve can’t help his smile. “It was amazing. Exactly what I wanted. Well, except I want your knot.”

Bucky smirks. “I know you do. We are working up to it.”

“Sir,” Steve asks when Bucky stands up. “Can we—?” He nods at the bed.

Somehow, asking Bucky to cuddle him is harder than asking Bucky to push him down and fuck him. But Bucky understands the request and pulls Steve up into his arms, walks him to the bed and bundles him under the covers before sliding in behind him.

Steve pushes into Bucky’s embrace and wraps his arms around Bucky and buries his nose in the comforting smell of his alpha.

He can still sense there is something unsaid, but he doesn’t believe Bucky will answer him so he takes what he can get and lets himself drift.

XxX

Steve is face down on the bed, his arms tied behind his back and a spreader bar between his legs. His knees are tucked up under him so his ass is fully presenting out.

Bucky is kneeling behind him, metal hand on Steve’s hip while three flesh fingers fuck in and out of Steve’s hole. Steve has been keening, moaning, sweating into the covers. It feels _so good._

“Fuck me, alpha, please,” he gasps.

Bucky chuckles. “Patience. Tonight, I want to see if you can take a knot.”

Steve gasps but Bucky hushes him, smoothing his metal palm down Steve’s back. “Not mine. A fake one.”

He leans down and brushes a kiss across Steve’s cheek, then pulls his fingers free of Steve’s body. Steve strains to see him go to a cabinet and pull something out of it. Then the bed shifts as Bucky climbs back on it.

“Even for omegas, being knotted can be scary. It makes some people feel trapped. If the bottom partner panics and pulls away, it can seriously injure the alpha. So I always have my partners practice with a fake knot,” he says, and then he’s rubbing the tip of a thick dildo along Steve’s rim.

“Are you ready to take a knot today, Steve?”

“Yes, sir,” Steve says, arching his back even more.

Bucky teases him with the toy, pressing the tip in and pulling it out. Steve whines for it, begs, but Bucky keeps on teasing, inching it in a little more each time, till he’s finally pushing the whole thing in and pulling it back out, positively fucking Steve on it. Steve’s toes curl and he groans, keeping up a litany of _alpha,_ and _please, sir_ s.

Bucky makes sure to stay close, his thighs brushing Steve’s and one hand on Steve’s hip.

“You ready?” he asks once Steve is looking thoroughly debauched.

“Yes, yes, sir,” Steve gasps.

Bucky pushes the toy in far and then activates the knot, letting it inflate till it fits snugly inside of Steve.

Steve makes a noise that Bucky can’t identify but he continues to push back against Bucky and the toy like he wants more.

“Check in with me, darling,” Bucky says, petting him a little.

“’s good, sir, so good,” Steve slurs. “Touch my cock, please, sir, please.”

“Okay, Stevie,” Bucky agrees, sliding in closer to get more skin-to-skin contact before reaching around and starting to jerk Steve off.

Steve rolls with it, pressing back into Bucky’s body and rutting forward into his hand. He’s completely slick with sweat and wanton with desire. He’s far gone, letting Bucky own him completely.

He comes with a shout, muffling his face into the covers, his toes curling and body trembling. Bucky gentles him through it and then forces Steve flat to lie across him. Steve squirms but lets him, twisting his head and pursing his lips for a sloppy kiss over his shoulder.

“Still good?” Bucky checks in.

“Yes, sir.”

Bucky leaves the knot in a little bit longer, than deflates it and pulls it gently from Steve, who shivers as it goes. He’s quick to untie Steve and unlock the spreader bar.

Steve tugs him into an embrace before Bucky can go get a rag to clean them up. He practically rolls Bucky under him, curling into Bucky’s scent gland and then purring happily.

Bucky pauses for a moment, then pulls the covers up over them, trapping the smell of sex and sweat, and puts his arm around Steve’s shoulder.

“You’re purring,” he remarks, with surprise.

“Yeah, it happens sometimes when I am very content,” he says, then looks up at Bucky. “Is that okay?”

Bucky kisses him. “More than okay. I’ve never had anyone purr for me before.”

“Never?” Steve asks in surprise.

“Never,” Bucky replies.

It’s late when Steve finally feels steady enough in his body to leave. Bucky doesn’t make a lot of eye contact when they detangle themselves. He does go and fetch a bowl of warm water and a clean cloth and helps Steve clean up though.

He puts his own clothes on while Steve dresses. There’s an air of—something—Steve can’t place it. Melancholy? Bucky keeps looking at him like he’s never going to see him again. Like he doesn’t want to look too hard.

When Steve finishes tying his shoes, he hovers by the door, wanting to kiss Bucky goodbye, or something, but the scene is over and he knows better than to press Bucky for physical contact outside of the scene. Even when he’s paying someone to fuck him, there are still professional boundaries.

“I’ll see you next week?” he asks, having scheduled weekly sessions with Bucky for the foreseeable future.

Bucky nods, “I’ll see you next week,” he says and Steve leaves him there to clean up the playroom.

He feels oddly raw when he steps out of the club and into the evening air. It’s dark out. The air has that cool edge to it that happens in the early fall, but it is not unpleasantly cold. Still he tugs his jacket around him and takes the long way home, reflecting on the session, on Bucky’s body language, on how much he enjoys being close to the other alpha.

He stands outside the subway for a long time thinking, _this may be a bad idea._

But he has no desire to stop.

XxX

Steve is not surprised, but he is a bit devastated when Wanda calls him several days later to tell him that the Winter Soldier had an emergency come up and needs to cancel several of his appointments. She doesn’t know when he will be able to reschedule, but Steve is more than welcome to schedule with a different dom.

He thanks Wanda but declines and hangs up. He goes for a run and then heads to the gym in the tower to beat up a bag or three.

Sam finds him there hours later and insists they go get dinner.

They go to a bar a few blocks away, order pizza and beers and shoot the shit till there’s a lull in conversation and Sam finally says, “Something’s bothering you, man, I can smell it.”

Steve’s shoulders practically come up around his ears. “It’s nothing.”

“Come on, don’t lie to me. I know you aren’t really the sharing type, but we all got to vent sometimes.”

Steve shakes his head, then finally says, “I was - sort of - seeing someone, but he broke it off and I’m just kind of sad about it.”

Sam nods, frowning. “That’s rough. But it’s good you are putting yourself out there again, I know that’s been hard for you. But you know what they say – other fish in the sea.”

“Yeah, I just got my hopes up.”

Sam rubs his shoulder. “Gotta find some stuff to take your mind off it. Try a new hobby.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Steve agrees.

“Or I’m still doing some work with the VA. You’re welcome to tag along.”

XxX

There’s a brunette in the second to last row who looks familiar to Steve, but he can’t place where he knows him without getting a look at his face. He’s got long hair, wearing a black hoodie and slouching in his seat.

Steve goes to sit a few chairs down from him and freezes, finally getting a good look at the man—

“Bucky?”

Bucky turns to him – and that’s why he didn’t recognize him at first, Bucky’s posture in this space is so different from the commanding walk of the Winter Soldier.

“Steve?” Bucky gasps, floundering for words that don’t come and then he’s up and practically marching toward the exit.

“No, wait, Bucky,” Steve says, following after him. He reaches for Bucky, managing to grab hold of Bucky’s metal wrist but Bucky yanks his hand away like he’s been burned.

Steve represses the shame and horror that rolls through him.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky asks.

“Sam invited me. He’s a friend of mine and I’m a veteran,” Steve says, in disbelief that he would ever have to explain to anyone that he served in the army.

“But you’ve never come before!” Bucky hisses.

“I—I know. I was struggling and Sam thought it would be a good idea for me to get out and connect with some new people; people with like-experiences.”

Bucky deflates a little then. “Shit, of course. That’s what the group is for. I’ll go, you should stay.”

“No, wait, Bucky, please.” Steve trails after him. “What happened?”

Bucky pauses but doesn’t turn all the way around. “I’m sorry, Steve. I was getting too close. I can’t,” he shakes his head. “I’m not supposed to feel that way about a client. It can’t be real, Steve, it’s my job. You understand.”

Like that, Steve is left standing in the middle of the hallway, alone.

Steve stays, listens to other vets talks. For a moment he feels less alone, but then he goes home, and the place is quiet save for the sound of the aircon coming on.

He stays up late doing absolutely nothing, feeling like a ghost in his own home, in his own skin.

XxX

He’s not expecting a knock on his door the next day when he’s flipping lazily through post-mission reports.

He’s especially not expecting Bucky to be standing in the hallway.

“Sam let me in,” Bucky explains.

Steve goes cold. “What did you tell him?”

“That I would make an appointment with that therapist he’s been recommending to me for months if he let me in to talk to you.”

Steve steps aside so Bucky can enter. “You know, that actually sounds like a deal Sam would make.”

“I’m not lying,” Bucky says. “Can we talk?”

Steve nods, closing the door. “Do you want coffee?” he asks.

Bucky shakes his head and makes no motion to take off his coat.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel unwelcome at the VA,” he says.

“It’s okay, I understand not wanting to run into a client when you’re not at work.”

“I’m sorry I cancelled our appointments and never followed up with you.”

“I figured you had your reasons.”

“I didn’t want to cut it off.”

“Then why did you?” Steve asks, leaning back against the wall and trying to keep his body language open. He wants to touch Bucky so badly. He wants to cry. He wants to get down on his knees and beg Bucky to be his alpha. He does none of those things; he just holds very still and lets Bucky speak for himself.

Bucky laughs, but it’s dry and humorless. “I saw you on the news after you and the Avengers took down that terrorist threat in Times Square. You had cuts and bruises on your face and all I could think about was how I wanted to call you, to come over and clean you up. And maybe scent-mark you a little. Or a lot. But I can’t do that because you’re my client, not my partner. But it was getting all muddled in my head.

“If I’m being honest with myself, which isn’t something I really like to do, I don’t want our interactions to end with the scene. I’ve never had a problem keeping my personal feelings separate from my job but this time, I don’t know what it is. You cloud my mind. I want to mark you up, not as your dom but as your alpha. I want to take you home and build you a nest and protect you. I want you to come home to me after your missions so I can check you over and patch you up.

“I can’t be your dom while I feel this way. It’s unprofessional. I’m providing you a service. If you wanted a date, you would’ve gotten a tinder account, not come to a BDSM club. My feelings for you are unprofessional. I can’t be your dom anymore.

“But I know other good doms. I mean, you’ll have to start over making sure you’re compatible but I can recommend someone to you. I just thought you deserved to know what happened.”

Steve is quiet for a moment, then he asks, “Have you ever dommed a partner or do you only dom for clients?”

“I’ve dommed partners before but you’re not my partner. You’re my client. And you’re Captain America.”

Steve laughs, sounding hollow even to himself. “I thought you saw past the Captain America bullshit. I thought when I was with you that I was just Steve. I’m a little disappointed that you would focus on that, especially now, after I’ve shown you parts of myself I’ve never shared with anyone. But I’m not always Captain America. I’m really just Steve - I’m just a twisted alpha who wants an alpha,” Steve says bitterly.

“You know that’s accepted now,” Bucky replies sharply. “You must know that or you wouldn’t have come to my club. Or you just think I’m twisted too because I like to fuck other alphas. Sometimes I even date them.”

“Yeah, I know, Bucky. Things have changed a lot since I went into the ice and I’m real thankful for it. I could’ve never told anyone what I wanted before. Look, I like what was going on between us. But if you need it to end, I will respect that. But I’m not going to look for another dom – I think you’re going to be it for me. At least, for a long while.

“But you should also know, I wouldn’t be opposed to expanding our interactions beyond the scene.”

Bucky looks at him startled, eyes wide. “What are you saying?” Bucky asks, his voice barely a whisper.

“I guess, I’m asking if you want to go on a date with me? The feeling is mutual.”

Bucky stares at Steve like he’s waiting for Steve to say he’s kidding. “Are you serious?” he finally asks.

“Completely. I was—kind of feeling the same way myself. Everyone I knew is dead. I’m working on building good friendships, building trust with the rest of the Avengers, but I’m still alone a lot of the time. You woke up something inside of me – a desire for companionship, a need to support someone and feel supported in the way only a partner can. It’s hard to leave you at the end of a scene. It’s hard to come home to an empty apartment after a mission.

“We already know we are pretty compatible. I say we see what happens. I would love to go on a date with you, Bucky Barnes.” He gives a small shrug. “If it goes well, I hope to get lucky.”

“Fuck, Steve,” Bucky says and then they’re kissing. Bucky pushes Steve back against the wall, his metal hand planting on Steve’s hip and the other in Steve’s hair. They make out for several moments before Bucky breaks away and says, “I thought I’d never get to kiss you again.”

“I hope I get to kiss you for a long time,” Steve says, going right back in for another kiss.

XxX

Steve wasn’t sure what to expect. He was a little - _nervous? scared? anxious?_ \- that the Winter Soldier was going to pick him up.

But when he opened the door, it was all Bucky Barnes. He should’ve known, of course it wouldn’t be the Winter Soldier, of course it would be Bucky. Bucky with his five o’clock shadow, his skinny black jeans, leather jacket and a bouquet of flowers. He’s also blushing like crazy and Steve feels knocked sideways by the surge of emotion he feels for Bucky.

“For you,” Bucky says, thrusting the flowers at him. He barely even looks Steve in the eye.

Steve takes them carefully. “Come in,” he says, and leans in to kiss Bucky gently on the mouth.

Bucky melts into it a little, but Steve doesn’t let them get carried away. “I have to put these in water.” He nuzzles Bucky one last time. “No one has ever given me flowers before.”

XxX

“I have to tell you something,” Bucky says. Their third date had been dinner at Steve’s place, then Steve made him sit through _Bringing Up Baby,_ which he seemed to enjoy. Bucky had been sitting with one leg propped in Steve’s lap, but he sits up now, putting his feet on the floor and creating a distance between them.

“You can tell me anything,” Steve says, wanting to smooth the sudden worry lines on Bucky’s face but reading his need for space, keeping his hands to himself.

“There’s a reason why I chose the line of work I did.”

“I’m sure there is,” Steve agrees.

“It’s not—not because I couldn’t find other work.”

“I never thought that was the reason.”

Bucky smiles briefly. “I was raped,” he says.

Steve sits up straighter, but stays silent.

“When I was in the service. Another soldier. Well, more than one, but that’s—details. They knotted me without my consent,” he says, rote, like he’s practiced saying these words with no emotion. “I tried to walk it off, but I couldn’t. Couldn’t get out of my head, I guess. Then someone got the drop on me while I was out on patrol, and,” he waves his right hand at his prosthetic left hand. “I got patched up, sent Stateside and discharged.”

“Bucky,” Steve breathes, aches for him.

Bucky shoots him a self-deprecating smile. “I’m okay.”

“That should’ve never happened to you.”

“No, it shouldn’t have, but,” he takes a breath and lets it out. “I’m here now. I got through it. But I’m not the same.” He makes a fist with his metal arm then relaxes it. “I always liked… the stuff I’m into. BDSM. But I used to care less – alpha, omega, beta, sub, dom, top, bottom. Whatever. I was _very versatile._ But since it happened, I don’t—I don’t want to give up control like that anymore. It used to be fun but now it just… scares me. But topping, domming, it’s given me something back. I like listening to my sub, knowing that I’m giving them what they want and not forcing anything on them. Taking them to their limit and bringing them back. Making sure they are having fun, providing aftercare. I love it,” he says.

“Well, you are pretty good at it,” Steve says.

“Thanks. I only tell you this because—I can’t—Steve, I don’t, and don’t take this the wrong way, but I never want to be knotted again. I never want to be fucked like that again, by anyone. I know I should get more therapy and work through it and ease back into it with a consenting partner, but I don’t want to.”

“Bucky, no. You don’t have to work through it if you don’t want to. If you liked it once and now you don’t like it, regardless of what happened to you, you don’t ever have to do it again. I would never ask you—I mean, I don’t care. I will never ask you to do that for me. I will never expect it. Besides, I kinda like the way things are. And it would be okay with me if that was… the way things stayed. I mean, maybe I would like to try it more vanilla once in a while, but I don’t have to be on top,” he says the last words almost in a whisper, blushing right up to the tips of his ears.

“Stevie,” Bucky sighs, suddenly tugging Steve into his arms to kiss his cheek. “How did I get so lucky to get a fella like you?”

XxX

Bucky summoned him to his office. His demeanor is somewhere halfway between Winter Soldier and Steve’s Boyfriend when Steve arrives and sits in the chair across from him.

Bucky taps his fingers on the desk once and then says, “We have a problem. But I think I have a solution.”

“Okay…,” Steve replies with some trepidation.

“You are a supersoldier.” Bucky says this like he expects Steve to react but Steve isn’t sure what reaction he wants.

“I know?” Steve settles on.

“Whenever I dom alphas, I need to be extra careful due to their natural strength. Sometimes people lose themselves in subspace. Which, I don’t mind; managing someone in subspace is what I live for as a dom. However, you are a supersoldier, which means that even though we are pretty sure you will enjoy being knotted, that is still not an absolute fact, and you may have an unexpected reaction to being knotted. And I don’t really want to get my knot torn off.”

Steve cringes. “I—I don’t think I would ever hurt you.”

“Not on purpose,” Bucky agrees. “But there’s always some risk with this.”

“But you have an idea?”

XxX

Steve is completely naked, laid out on his belly. Bucky is securing his ankles to the bedposts, keeping him spread out. Once his ankles are shackled in, Bucky moves up to the head of the bed, keeping a hand on Steve while he moves. He takes Steve’s right wrist and locks it into a manacle on a short chain to the reinforced bed frame, then circles around to Steve’s left side and repeats the motion.

Steve could still probably pull free if he wanted to; the metal is strong but still not enough to hold him. It wouldn’t be easy, though. He lacks the appropriate leverage in this position and it would take him several tries.

This knowledge already has him hard and leaking as Bucky crawls up on the bed and lays his warm hand on Steve’s back.

“How’s that, sweetheart?” Bucky asks.

Steve turns his head to look up at his alpha. “Feels good. Secure.”

Bucky reaches out and circles one wrist near the manacle. “Not cutting off circulation?”

“No, sir,” Steve responds.

“Good, good. You ready?”

Steve has been hard and leaking since Bucky ordered him to take off his clothes and lie down on the bed. “Yes, sir, so ready.”

“Good,” Bucky says and leans down to kiss Steve on the mouth. Then he slides down between Steve’s legs and takes hold of Steve’s ass in both hands. “I don’t know how I got this lucky,” he mutters before pulling Steve’s checks apart and licking the furl of muscle between them.

Steve gasps, shoving his hips into the bed and then back onto Bucky’s tongue.

“Alpha,” he groans as Bucky starts eating him out with enthusiasm. He tugs on the chains a little bit, but they hold. There’s not much he can do but squirm and moan and _take it_. It’s exactly what he’s wanted from an alpha.

Bucky gets him wet, starts stretching him open on his fingers, rubs his prostate until Steve trembles and almost comes. Bucky sits up then to finger him more aggressively, getting four fingers into him and watching the hungry way Steve’s body opens for him. “You’re made for this,” Bucky praises.

Steve blushes all the way down his back. He’s trying to keep his eye on Bucky over his shoulder but it’s an awkward angle and the pleasure is so intense it’s hard to keep his eyes open. “You think?” he gasps, still pushing his hips back onto Bucky’s fingers.

“You open so sweetly for me, Stevie. Can’t wait to put my cock in you, fill you up tight with my knot. Keep you stuck on it for hours.”

“Alpha, please,” Steve whines.

“You ready for my cock, sweetheart?” Bucky asks, pulling his fingers free.

“Yes, sir, so ready, sir,” Steve groans, spreading his legs as wide as he can, arching his back, doing everything in his power to entice Bucky.

It works. Bucky curses, sitting up slightly to fist his own cock. He keeps one hand on Steve’s back and leans forward, pushing the head of his cock inside.

“Don’t stop,” Steve gasps.

Bucky gives him a small slap on one cheek and Steve yelps but stays in place so Bucky can push all the way in, in one long, slow glide. He stays upright for a moment, both hands now cradling the globes of Steve’s ass so he can see clearly the place where they are joined. Steve’s rim flutters around him, stretched and blood-hot.

“Fuck, Stevie, you take me so nice. So tight and wet. I’m going to make a mess of you,” he says and then lowers himself till he’s flat across Steve’s back. Steve shivers with the contact, overwhelmed but loving every second of it. Bucky curls his hands around Steve’s hips to hang onto him. He noses around Steve’s scent glands and nibbles on an ear.

“Please, sir, please,” Steve gasps when Bucky stays still for several long moments.

Bucky just traces the shell of Steve’s ear with the tip of his nose. “Yes?” he asks with a teasing lilt.

“Please fuck me, sir. I need it.” His hands are white knuckled in the sheets. He’s rocking as much as he can forward into the sheets and back onto Bucky’s cock.

Bucky follows the line of his neck to the gland at the base where his shoulder begins and puts his mouth over it, suddenly sucking hard enough to leave a bruise, causing Steve to shout and squeeze his muscles around Bucky inside of him. Bucky lets go with a gasp, “God, Steve, the things you do to me.” And Steve cannot respond because Bucky lets loose then – fucking hard in and out of Steve while holding him down.

Steve feels reduced to his hole – all his focus narrowing to that hot space where Bucky connects with him. The room is full of their panting and the slick sounds of Bucky fucking him. Holding him down like a rowdy omega, putting him in his place, face down on the bed. Bucky’s hands hold his hips fast, keeping Steve exactly where he wants him.

“God, Steve,” Bucky groans in his ear.

Steve whines for him. “Knot me, alpha, please.”

Bucky’s hips pick up - he’s digging his knees into the soft cover of the bed for leverage, going at Steve as hard as he can. It shakes the breath from Steve’s lungs, makes him feel like he’s run a hundred miles, like he’s small again, like he’s something Bucky can command and own. It’s glorious.

“Steve,” Bucky groans, slowing down a little. His voice has a serious edge to it.

“Alpha,” Steve replies, turning his head to look up at his dom.

“I’m going to come,” Bucky says. His cheeks are pink and his eyes bright, lips swollen from their kissing.

“Yes, please, come, alpha,” Steve says.

“Shh,” Bucky replies, slowing down even more. “If you don’t want to be knotted, you have to tell me now.”

Steve shakes against the bed. “I want it, alpha, want your knot—please.”

“Fuck, Steve, so perfect for me,” Bucky grunts. He sits up a little, hands sliding from Steve’s hips back to his ass to hold him open, looking down at where his cock is disappearing into Steve’s body. His knot has started to swell, making it drag deliciously and a little painfully along Steve’s rim every time he pulls out and pushes back in.

“Now, alpha, now,” Steve gasps.

Bucky curses, placing one hand back on Steve’s hip and his other hand on the middle of Steve’s back. He leans his weight onto that hand, holding Steve down as effectively as he can while he jerks his hips in and out of Steve a few more times. He punches in hard on each downstroke and then comes with a gasp on the third stroke.

Steve’s eyes slam shut, practically rolling back into his skull as he feels Bucky empty into him, making everything that much wetter. His knot inflates and locks inside Steve’s channel, tying them together.

Bucky makes a few more incoherent sounds and slumps back onto Steve so they are touching almost completely. His hips keep jerking on autopilot, rubbing his knot along Steve’s prostate. Bucky can’t help nosing around Steve’s neck, sucking hickies all over his neck and shoulders, arms tight around him to keep him close.

Steve’s cock is hard against his stomach, trapped between his body and the bed. He almost doesn’t register the ache of it - too busy feeling complete by being knotted to his alpha. 

“Steve, baby, how’s that?” Bucky asks, finally when he’s able to get his voice back.

“Perfect,” Steve replies, turning his head to beg for a kiss that Bucky gives him easily.

Bucky keeps grinding into his ass, little hitches in his voice.

“No pain?” he asks.

“None I didn’t want,” Steve replies.

Bucky shivers, overcome with the feeling of being knotted to Steve. “We are going to have to do this a bunch more times,” he says, finally starting to still a little.

Steve makes a little humming noise of agreement, floating in the sensation himself. His hole feels tight and hot, but like he’s the perfect vessel for Bucky, for his alpha; it’s all he’s ever really wanted.

Bucky hugs his arms around Steve’s torso and keeps him pinned there, occasionally kissing him until his knot lets up.

He slides out carefully and pauses briefly to watch come and lube leak out of Steve’s hole. The rim is stretched, red and tender. He runs the pad of his thumb over it, then rubs at it hard and Steve whimpers until he relents. “You’re so beautiful, Stevie,” Bucky says, leaning down and kissing the base of Steve’s tailbone.

He finally stands up and Steve strains to keep an eye on him.

“I’m just letting you up,” he says, walking around the bed to unlock Steve’s limbs. As soon as he can, Steve flips over and puts his arms out, demanding Bucky return.

Bucky goes easily into his fold. Steve still feels a bit raw, hollowed out. It’s a good feeling but a needy one – he wants his alpha close. Wants to know he did a good job, took it so well.

Bucky gets him to lay flat on his back and spends some time petting at him, kissing him, before finally reaching down and curling his hand over Steve’s cock. Steve jolts, having almost forgotten that part of himself.

“Grab your knot,” Bucky orders and without even thinking, Steve curls his hand around the base of his cock. Bucky jerks him off with even, fast strokes, getting Steve to come in record time. His back arches off the bed when he does. He milks his own knot without much thought, squeezing it tight while Bucky’s fingers play gently with the glands on the head of his cock.

“Good boy,” Bucky murmurs into his skin while Steve shudders through the aftershocks. Steve lets go of his knot, letting his cock soften and slumping back against Bucky.

“That was perfect,” he says. “We are going to do that like—a bunch more. At least. I have some ideas.”

Bucky runs a hand through Steve’s hair and chuckles. “Already with the ideas.”

“Well, I had ideas before, but I knew you would reject them as jumping the gun.”

That gives Bucky pause. “What kind of ideas?” he asks.

“Well, you wouldn’t be able to get ahold of a breeding bench, would you?” Steve asks.

Bucky growls a little, pulling Steve in tighter. “I think there may be one in the storage room. I wouldn’t be opposed to pulling it out, making sure it’s still sturdy.”

“Good, do that,” Steve says. “You trust me not to hurt you?”

“Yes. The chains were just a precaution.”

“I am not complaining,” Steve says with a smile. “I just wanted to know.”


End file.
